tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21595148.post113972891337635351..comments2023-11-05T07:22:58.867-05:00Comments on Wide Open on the Mommybahn: Ineffable InfancyTestdriverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03596324722878187186noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21595148.post-1139946492786187782006-02-14T14:48:00.000-05:002006-02-14T14:48:00.000-05:00Amy, I think you might have given me that issue of...Amy, I think you might have given me that issue of Brainchild. Is it the one with the French parents who can't believe American goofy parenting? Anyway, that story dealt with this, too. I have to admit that I tend to come down on Gerber's side, too, rather than the "pipe down" method. I think kids, even babies are entitled to feel how they feel, and further, that everyone has to own their feelings. Shielding kids from unpleasant feelings is a losing battle for sure, especially as they get bigger. It's just that I love, LOVE to hear people's extrapolations on the experience of newborn babies, which to me, seems a little like speculating on the experience of being dead, but with greater potential consequences. The only people who really know--aren't telling :-)<BR/><BR/>Mama c-ta, I think yours is absolutely the only logical answer there is. No wonder it's every theorist's caveat...go with your gut.Testdriverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03596324722878187186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21595148.post-1139934619029556622006-02-14T11:30:00.000-05:002006-02-14T11:30:00.000-05:00First want to say love your site. I came here by ...First want to say love your site. I came here by way of the fabulous Amy P. She knew I'd love it especially since my husband and I would love for Julian to go to Montessori someday.<BR/><BR/>Amy has a great point, I actually agree although I don't follow through if that makes sense. I don't want to hush my child, I would like him to express what he's feeling. I want him to know he's not alone, he can express himself, I'll try to remedy the situation for him but then I find myself shushing him. Not for my sake for his which may or may not be the best choice. I don't do it solely so I can go about my business in peace or anything.<BR/><BR/>But this part "I feel a baby should never be told not to cry or be distracted from crying, even if listening to it is difficult for the<BR/>parent" is a bunch of crapola to me. I feel babies cry b/c they have a need..if my baby is crying b/c he happens to be bored and I get down on the floor and dangle a toy in front of him and he stops crying, did I meet his needs or did I distract him from crying only to land him in Primal Scream therapy?? I don't doubt my kid will end up in therapy someday ;) but I doubt that will be the reason. I go w/my instincts and whatever my initial reaction is. I rather be the reason my kid is in therapy than b/c I listend to some jerk off making money from a book :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21595148.post-1139928584707238212006-02-14T09:49:00.000-05:002006-02-14T09:49:00.000-05:00Amanda, I agree w/ Magda Gerber. Back when Millie ...Amanda, I agree w/ Magda Gerber. Back when Millie and Holden were wee I had such a loss of control over every aspect of their arrival. When they were discharged from the hospital after 3 months, I had this idea that I was in charge and our home would run like a well oiled machine. Poor MS & HIP cried a LOT. I was young and thought I knew it all. Now I know better.I know NOTHING. Angus cries so little right now that things are okay... but I do think that a little cry won't hurt anyone. I read an interesting article once in Brainchild magazine that Americans( as a rule) don't like any kind of conflict... and exhibit this profoundly in their parenting styles. As it makes the parent uncomfortable to hear their child upset... they hush away the sound and get back to business. The article argued that Americans should simply say to their children, " I understand that you are upset/crying/happy and the like... and would you like to talk about why you are feeling this way?" Obviously this works better with bigger kids,( Millie and Holden really respond to this reaction)but I have noticed that even with Gus who is just shy of 2 weeks old... when he is really flustered if I talk very quietly to him explaining that I know he is upset... I guess the sound of my voice settles him from a howler monkey down to a quiet whine. I never want to hush him.. just let him know that he is not alone. Call me what you will... I don;t think I fit a category.. but I find that just reassuring them that you are there is reassuring enough. Am I crazy? Does this stream of consiouness make any sense??Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17642797465354679793noreply@blogger.com