Sunday, July 16, 2006

Seven Months Review

How's That Working Out For You?: The Seven-Months Review.

Summer camp's over and the Montessori Baby is back! If you can believe it, we've been doing this now for seven--almost eight months.

In that time, as you can imagine, we've made a few minor adjustments to the academic rigor of the Montessori Baby Experiment. Let's review:

What Nuvy's up to now: Nuvy is doing all the things seven and eight-month-old babies are doing everywhere. She sits up, crawls, pulls up on furniture (if she's motivated to see over it), dumps things onto the floor, eats a variety of foods, vocalizes a lot, saying "mamamama", "dadadadada", and "bababababa", none of which seem to have any specific meaning attached to them, and says "aynaynaynaynay" when she's annoyed, tired, or otherwise unhappy. Just now, she's taught us how to play peek-a-boo.

Principles we're still sticking to: No bouncers, swings, exersaucers or other strap-in contraptions, no buzzers and light-up toys, no TV (unless I catch her watching "Deadwood" with Daddy--then watch out!), no crib, and no high chair. She doesn't have any bottles or sippy-cups. She drinks water from a regular glass with no lid, and gets her milk from the breast. The sippy-cup restriction is Montessori, the bottle thing is just me, as I never get around to pumping, and I'd rather not give her formula.

All her play is still Nuvy-initiated, except for walks and other outings. She's a real people-person, I suspect because of spending lots of time in the sling, at grown-up eye level. I still don't demonstrate for her how to use any toy. I let her try to self-feed, and I still put her in her bed awake. She sleeps in her floor bed, usually from about 9:00pm to about 5:30am, at which time I usually put her in bed with us.

We don't use baby-talk with her (much--but everyone else does), and we haven't tried to sign. Anybody have any experience with that? The Montessori people were a little conflicted about it, as they weren't sure how it would affect oral language development. I'd appreciate any wisdom any of you have on baby sign language.

Things I've found it useful to modify: These are things that still feel Montessori to me, but are a little tweaked because they just weren't working for us.

The Floor Bed: She rolled out of the floor bed every night for the first week I put her in it. To keep her in bed without confining her with a crib, I rolled up blankets under the sheet and made little bolsters all around the floor bed. It seems to keep her in the bed, unless she means to get out and actively climbs over them--which she does infrequently. She usually just makes a little noise early in the morning, and I come and get her.

The Noisy-Toys Rule: I am giving her rattles with invisible beads, Lamaze butterflies with crinkly plastic inside, and the Audubon Society birds. I did this because she became very interested in rattles, and I wanted her to experience some sounds and textures other than wood-against-wood. The birds got in by being reasonably authentic representations of actual local birds, and by making the actual accompanying birdsong when you squeeze them. And anyway, they're really cool. You should get some. Follow the link below. www.choiceaccessories.com

Things I Have Totally Bagged: There are a few Montessori recommendations that I have completely given up on. If you manage to make these work, please let me know how you did it so I can try it out on my next child.

Lap Feeding: Oh, how I have come to hate lap feeding. Nuvy sits up now, but unsteadily, so she still can't really use the weaning chair yet. Lap feeding became a hurricane of food, a writhing, whining baby, and a glass of scotch for me when it was all over. I caved and used what I must now endorse as a really great baby product--the Bumbo seat. Props to Aunt Hyster for that. The bumbo seat sits on the floor, and I sit on the floor in front of it. It supports Nuvy very securely while she eats, and allows me to interact with her without having to restrain her with my arms. The idea behind lap feeding is that there is bodily contact (the only kind of restraint theoretically allowed) and the physical closeness allows the parent to be well-attuned to the baby's body language, ending the feeding session immediately when the child loses interest. Problem: Nuvy lost interest in being held on my lap WAY before she lost interest in her food, which amounted to tremendous frustration for both of us. The Bumbo seat (available at www.target.com, among other places), while somewhat confining, represents a pretty good compromise. It is situated on the floor, where the weaning table and chair will go, but is pretty hard for her to worm her way out of--though let me say not impossible. Now, Nuvy's dinner is much more pleasant, AND she uses her cloth napkin for peekaboo--which is beyond entertaining!

The Six-Months "Sensitive Period for Weaning": Sorry, folks. The attachment parent in me is just not ready to give up nursing. The American Association for Pediatrics is backing me up, and giving me a year. Here's why. 1) Breastmilk is better for Nuvy than formula. 2) I hate, HATE pumping. It makes me feel even sorrier for dairy cows than I already did. 3) She has begun to cut herself back now that she's eating solids, so I don't feel any real need to rush her. 4) We both still love it. So there.

However, I am trying to give her the opportunity to wean herself, and she seems to be doing it to a certain degree. She no longer needs to nurse for comfort if she's hurt or scared. Hugging and rocking while she sucks her thumb is enough. She takes less and less milk at mealtimes, and I've begun nursing her after she eats, rather than before. I never got into the habit of nursing her to sleep, but I do wake her up that way. When she gets up at 5:30am, she's like a sleepy little baby bird, chasing my breast with her mouth. That one's going to be tough to let go.

7 comments:

Amy said...

Hey: thumbs up on that bumbo seat! We've been using it for a little over a month. It buys me some down time while I prepare meals and Guster can still see me and sing me baby songs. LOVE IT. I'm glad to hear that you are using it too... now I don't feel so guilty about not feeding him on my lap.
That Nuvy girl is majorly amazing. She is changing the standards on the cuteness scales!!

testdriver said...

Nobody should feel guilty about not doing all of this Montessori stuff. I will definitely not feel guilty when I get an Oeuf lounger for baby #2!

Yep, she's cute all right, but she has a talented court photographer :)

Rece Anthony said...

We use signing. And it works wonders. Things are so much less frustrating. Not nearly as much whining. As far as it hindering oral speech, I can't say. Rece is pretty much on the older end of all developmental milestones, so when he really started signing back at 18 months he still wasn't talking other than mama and dada. He has since added about 4 words to his oral vocabulary and has 13 signs I believe.
And our morning nursing was the hardest to give up too. And that happened at 14 months. We were both ready at that time.

Auntie Shoogs said...

Woot!

Score
Aunt Hyster: 1
Maria Montessori: 838927384


No, its just funny that the recent Montessori convert has singlehandedly brought about the demise of the lap-feeding rule. :)

fuzzypeach said...

We love the Audubon Birds too!

About signing... I can't see that it's a bad thing. From what I have read, the only downside is that your child might not learn the words for the things they sign until later on. From what I have seen, it is a wonderful way to know what is going on in your child's mind and a good way to cut back on frustration caused by the lack of ability to communicate:)

Anonymous said...

Hi,

Someone recommended your site to me; I'm also trying to do the Montessori baby thing with my eight-month-old!

Just to respond to your questions - Lap feeding and nothing else made no sense: confinement is confinement, right? So if he's encircled in my arms, is it really so different from being on a chair with a loose strap to keep him from falling? We use the HandySitt chair. I decided that it makes sense for him to share mealtimes with us, and it's fair for everyone to get to eat at the same time. It's worked.

I also didn't wean at 6 months - we're still going strong. You know, Montessori recommended chocolate for babies, and Montanaro recommended tuna fish - hey, science marches on.

J. sleeps on a floor bed for naps, but in bed with us at nighttime. To me, this seems to follow his needs; he sleeps well at night and eats without waking up fully.

I also think that slings and even a little time in the jogging stroller really are OK; a three-mile round trip walk to the library is nigh impossible while toting a 20-pounder! J. coos and sits way forward to see the landscape around. If he fusses, I stop and get him out, no biggie.

I dunno, I think that these all are recommendations, not rigid rules (and I think this may be where M. gets a bad rap!). The point of it all is to respect your child and to get out of the way of his/her development, right? Clearly you're taking a lot of time and effort with this; your daughter will benefit, no doubt.

Thanks for the blog - I love to check in and see what you guys are doing.

- Jenny

Anonymous said...

One more thing:

We are signing - he recognizes four words or so. The literature I've read indicates that language development occurs more quickly with babies who sign. You're speaking the word while signing it, so really there's no reason why oral language would be affected. Babies I've known will vocalize as well as sign; this just gives them an opportunity to communicate before they can physically form words with their voices.

- J.